With all due respect, I’m glad none of you out there in NBA fandom is in possession of the keys to the kingdom.
Truly, I’m relieved that you impatient keyboard GMs are operating from wherever you call for shots to be called – bed, basement, front porch, it’s better than in somebody’s front office.
Especially the Lakers’.
Because I see how you guys would shop, and it gives Black Friday vibes.
Black Friday back before you did so much shopping online, back when you’d camp out for hours and rush the store at midnight and fight off fellow customers just to get in on the deal that would fill a need in your life.
The same energy you used to bring for that big TV, you’re bringing for that big man in the post. Even now, in this tempered version of NBA free agency, it’s still like first day of Christmas shopping in July.
And when all of you too-eager, would-be shoppers spotted the guy who’s worked at the store for years standing to the side empty-handed at 12:02 a.m., you couldn’t help yourselves: What are you doing! Move! Buy something! Put it on credit! Who cares about the interest! Who cares how you’re going to pay it off! Don’t kick the can down the road, that’s so lame! You need it now! You needed it two minutes ago! Oh my gosshhhh, are you a fool!?
Not to go all public defender, but the Guy Just Standing There – Rob Pelinka, the Lakers’ general manager and president of basketball operations – he would have reassured you: It’s all good, man. I’ve got a buddy who stashed my order in the back.
And then he would have walked out with the big, coveted item he needed to keep up with teams next door (who are still wondering, by the way, how the heck he got his hands on Luka Doncic when no one was looking last February).
And Pelinka walked out having scored a steeper discount than you knew was even available.
Lucky guy, right? Just a happy coincidence that center Deandre Ayton became available as the Lakers were finding themselves with a $14 million non-taxpayer mid-level exception to spend, eh?
Sure, if you believe everything you read on the internet, where you all told each other Pelinka had committed a fireable offense by Just Standing There and letting 32-year-old wing Dorian Finney-Smith walk away for nothing when he found another team in Houston to give him a four-year, $53 million deal. (Good for Doe, though.)
Seems like maybe the guy wasn’t Just Standing There. Seems he was waiting for his buddy to emerge from the back with his prize, a previously unadvertised and heavily discounted 26-year-old starting center, who happens to share an agent with Doncic.
Losing Finney-Smith but bringing aboard Ayton and 23-year-old wing Jake LaRavia feels a little like the math that Clippers guard Norman Powell did last season after his team let Paul George walk for nothing – but not for nothing.
The way Powell saw it before his team made the playoffs as the fifth seed in the Western Conference and George’s Philadelphia 76ers got shut out in the East, the Clippers were doing “addition by subtraction.”
Except in the Lakers’ case, it isn’t a matter of bigger roles for hungrier players, it’s literally two players for the price of one – real Black Friday stuff!
They’ll have Ayton on a two-year, $16.6 million deal, so $8.2 million this season before next season’s player option. That’s an incredible bargain for the 7-foot, former No. 1 overall pick, who was bought out by Portland. The Trail Blazers now will pay him about $25 million this year to play for the Lakers – who also picked up the sharpshooter LaRavia with the other portion of their mid-level exception.
And although Pelinka drove you up the wall Just Standing There for the first two days of free agency, he’s standing here now still relatively asset-rich.
Whether it’s a first-round draft pick in 2031 or 2032, or pick swaps, or second-year wing Dalton Knecht with all his upside. Whether it’s Rui Hachimura on his $18.3 million deal or guys like Gabe Vincent, Maxi Kleber and Jordan Goodwin on their expiring contracts.
Whatever the asking price, Pelinka won’t be haggling from a place of desperation, with the whole world – fantasy GMs included – knowing he absolutely had to have a center.
The Lakers needed a center so badly you were ready to shoehorn in should-be backups like Brook Lopez and Clint Capela because, from your spot in line outside the store, that’s who it looked like the Lakers could get.
And now that they’ve gotten Ayton on a great deal, you’d like to let the manager know that you have your reservations.
The NBA has a charming habit of slinging mud at players on their way out. Fair or not, never-named sources will frame former employees as out of shape or vampiristic, seemingly whatever they think will help keep fans on their side after a breakup.
So you read an article about why the Blazers were down to part with Ayton, whose alleged crimes include that he can be “carefree and loud, often blurting out songs or offhand comments in the locker room.” Go ahead, call over the security guard.
But before you do that, consider: The Bahamian has also averaged a double-double every season of his career, with averages of 16.4 points (59% shooting) and 10.5 rebounds. That’s right, the Lakers got a guy who actually can grab a board! Who’s a lob threat and a midrange threat. Who has this next season to prove he’s worth another lucrative contract.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking.
What is Pelinka doing? As in, what is he doing now? The Ayton news is so two news cycles ago and the Lakers have work to do!
They’ve got holes to fill defensively if they’re going to appease LeBron and impress Luka and turn a team featuring those two top-15 players into the contender it could be – should be.
So why is that guy Just Standing There?