Look, I understand most of you aren’t “on Clippers Twitter.” And I get why you weren’t locked in for the Clippers versus the Brooklyn Nets on Sunday night, a highly uncompetitive affair – the Clippers won, 126-89 – happening while the Rams locked horns with Seattle Seahawks in the NFC championship game.
So if you were not, in fact, among the 400-some viewers logged onto the aptly named “Clips N Dip” podcast’s livestream on Monday evening to watch Robert Flom eat his words, please take a bite of this weird and whimsical sports story. It’s delicious. Or it’s delicious to me, conceptually. I only write for a paper, I didn’t promise to eat any.
Flom is a longtime Clippers podcaster and blogger, he’s been writing and yapping for years about the team at 213Hoops. He’s the curmudgeonly one, the guy with the critical eye who saves the pom-pom-waving for other people. I respect it. He’s also the one who will talk about what he’s been cooking at home; his speciality is pasta pomodoro.
And he might have saved the Clippers seasoning.
Actually, no, the Clippers might have saved the Clippers’ season. But man, if this certified professional career coach didn’t set them up for success in the funniest way possible.
On Dec. 20, before the Clippers played the Lakers for the second time this season, Clippers coach Tyronn Lue told L.A.’s assembled basketball reporters that his team – a putrid 6-21 at the time – was going to go 35-20 or better in what was left of their season.
Like most fans, Flom was incredulous. Because despite upbeat preseason projections, at that point we had seen nothing from Lue’s group to indicate such a turnaround was possible, let alone imminent: “They were so bad,” Flom said Monday evening, “… they weren’t getting a little unlucky, they were just terrible at all phases of basketball.”
Flom posted on X, the social media platform formerly known as Twitter, that Lue’s statement called for “Curb your enthusiasm music.” You know, the recognizable tune that so often set the right cringe-worthy mood on Larry David’s hit HBO show?
Another Clipper fan, @bonclipper, responded – jokingly, I think – “We’re going to go 15-3 …” To which Flom’s now-famous comeback, viewed 3.2 million times, was: “If they go 15-3 in any stretch this season [I] will print and eat this tweet.”
The universe read that and was like, bet. As in, you betcha!
Because from that point on, the Clippers, who had just broken up with Chris Paul, regrouped. They got healthier, they rededicated themselves to assistant coach Jeff Van Gundy’s defense and he reworked his defensive recipe to better suit his personnel. And the Clippers started to cook. Really cook.
Between Dec. 20 and Sunday night, they had second-best net rating in the NBA (plus-8.9) and second-best 3-point shooting percentage (38.7%), and they’re the best free-throw shooting team (87.6%) on the second-most attempts per game.
They put together two six-game winning streaks. They beat the Eastern Conference-leading Detroit Pistons twice, and the Lakers twice too. They improved from 13th in the Western Conference to 10th, in play-in position now.
And, most importantly, they had the best record in the NBA. They went 15-3.
That’s why Flom was on a livestream Monday, dipping strips of the paper onto which he’d printed his hit tweet into a soy sauce, Siracha, sesame oil and honey dip he mixed himself.
Flom looked like he was chewing a tough piece of meat as the other guys on the stream – regular Clipper commentators Chuck Mockler, William Updyke, Adam Auslund and Joseph Raya-Ward – spit-balled about what they would ingest in exchange for Clippers playoff success.
None of it sounded good, or healthy. Do not eat wood chips, guys. Or like something you should try at home. But then, when Kawhi Leonard heard Sunday what Flom had agreed to do, he wouldn’t co-sign: “I don’t know how healthy that is for you.”
But the Clippers’ normally stoic star said it with a great old grin on his face befitting the entire unlikely enterprise, which had fans on The Wall at Intuit Dome chanting “Eat The Tweet” on Sunday and drawing full-court coverage, from The Athletic to KCAL, ESPN to the Washington Post and normally serious basketball Substacks.
Southern California News Group’s Janis Carr described John Collins’ reaction: “While rubbing his stomach, forward John Collins advised Flom to get some fiber. “Whoever’s going to eat that piece of paper, make sure you get your banana in.”
The Clippers’ comeback story would have been compelling enough on its own, but that there was a countdown afoot, the fact that Flom had put his money where his mouth is, well, that made it matter more.
It made for the Clippers’ best social media moment since Blake Griffin posted a photo in 2015 of a chair propped against a door at DeAndre Jordan’s house in Houston, a purported attempt to block him from leaving the Clippers to sign with the Mavericks.
It was a little bit of light amid all of our doomscrolling. It did what sports is supposed to do for us – distract, entertain, bring us together.
“You meet people from all over the world who are very different but have the same rooting interest, who found it amusing that some random person said they would eat a piece of paper,” Flom said. “Kids who saw that thought it was funny, old people who saw that, thought it was funny. I heard from someone in Japan and someone in Turkey, it’s pretty crazy.
“It’s why sports are cool. There are so many negatives about sports culture, but I think there are a lot of positives as well. And this, not to toot the old horn, is a good example of the positives in sports.”
But, no, Flom said, he doesn’t want seconds.
He set the table; it’s up to the Clippers to finish the meal now.